I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
