I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
