I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control