just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
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He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
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I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.