there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
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I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
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I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.