people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.