I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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