'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE