He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
