I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
