My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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