If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
this boner is exhausting
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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