Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
