It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize