I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he was CRYING into my vagina
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
