I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
