'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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