The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
