My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
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Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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