I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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