I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
