I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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