yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
