Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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