sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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