I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
