please come you make the beer taste better
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
