Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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