his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
