His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize