Well apparently he's into motor boating.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize