OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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