My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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