quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
