Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
