No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
