There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
