i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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