wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Is it penis luge time yet?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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