1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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