I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
