He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
