just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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