I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
