I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
