I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
