is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
