Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize