Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
