I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
