no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
