i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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