so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
