Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
