Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
