Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
