Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
