I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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