Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My life is pants optional.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
