You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
