does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
