first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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