Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
