what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize