does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
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wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
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I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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