Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I can text with my tongue
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
