sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize